Losing One’s Life Is Not So Simple
Credit to Phil Kittelson, Kristy Bebar & Ludwin Siles for all photos in this story
It’s Friday night, March 8th and I’m tucked away in my small boat cabin, shared with two other ministry partners who are hard at work in the sweltering heat of the Bolivia Amazon Tributaries.
There is one fan blowing down on me, and I am in deep gratitude for the air circulating around me.
This fan will only last until 10:30 pm when the boat generator shuts down and all goes silent and still. At that moment I’ll let out a complaint in the form of a childish groan.
Nothing could have prepared me for the heat, the humid jungle atmosphere and the mosquitoes. The people here who live on this river edge are calling it a plague, and they are not in any way dramatizing the event. Swarms of mosquitoes cover all of us who dare to walk the plank into the village for the evening outreach. We sing through the smoke that surrounds us, the local age long remedy for the plague of mosquitoes. One kind woman walks through the crowd with a metal bucket of burning twigs, gently circling us individually until we are covered in a cloud of smoke. It is as kind as a hug and the relief is felt instantly.
“Gracias” I smile, using the one word I know well in Spanish. Seeing her gentle eyes through the fog makes me feel as if I am in another world.
And I am.
Later I will write home to my husband through text message, a modern convenience that brings me back to my comfort zone in moments.
“It’s as if I am no longer in the same world I was in one week ago. It’s as if all the good comforts have been taken away and only what is left is Jesus and His purpose. I am not comfortable with that yet.”
Seven Days ago I left Chicago with a team of seven for Cup of Cold Water Ministries’ first STM of 2024. How could it only be seven days ago?
Chicago melted away quite quickly as I began to understand why the hard to reach people groups are indeed so difficult to reach. We flew first to Panama, and then onto Santa Cruz Bolivia where we caught another plane to Cochibamba Bolivia, waiting on the tarmac for forty minutes for our final flight to Trinidad Bolivia. And that was only the beginning.
Our mission was to catch up with our CCWM Kittelson Missionaries, Felipe, Dr. Phil and Andrew as well as CCWM Missionary Maurcio Meneses who have been faithfully planning a medical and evangelical mission to the people of the small villages along the Mamore and Isiboro Rivers. This medical mission is a collaboration with MINUVAF (our Bolivia CCWM sister project) and MEDFUND (the project of CCWM Missionary Andrew Kittelson) and CCWM.
The nurses with us, Kris Jackson, Kristy Bebar, Abigail Spendlove and Jean Young would provide medical services, while myself, CCWM Missions Development Director Jennie Thompson, and CCWM Vice President Henry Hagenbuch would simply be a presence of assistance and encouragement to our missionaries in whatever way possible, as they conducted a tremendous feat of ministry. To get to their team of 39, mostly Bolivian partners of Doctors, Dentist and Evangelical missionaries we had to catch a small skiff at a loading doc in Trinidad, and this was our first contact with the Mamore River. Managing all of our luggage, and our fresh from American selves, Dr. Phil Kittleson helped us to set off for what I will now call, my lifetime’s greatest adventure.
I shall not soon forget, CCWM Missionary Felipe Kittelson greeting us on the edge of the medial boat, after a two hour Skiff ride down the Amazon tributaries, docked next to a jungle backdrop he said, “ Dr. Livingstone I presume”
Referencing the famous greeting of Henry Morton Stanley upon finding David Livingstone after a seven hundred mile expedition through the tropical forest of Africa.
It felt a strangely appropriate greeting.
The beauty of God’s masterpiece in creation is everywhere you look in the jungle. Sunset on the Mamore River and the night sky will take your breath away if you are like me, prone to be in awe of God’s beauty and set speechless when you happen upon it.
The beauty of sharing the Gospel and stories of Jesus to little children who had not heard Jesus stories before. Below, is a picture painted after we told the story of Jesus calming the storm. The child who drew it told us this was the first time she heard this story and she liked it so much. How apropos, on this exact evening, a storm came into the village and rocked our boat so severe Mauricio told me he had concern that it could possibly topple over. I wonder if that small girl woke up to the wind and lightening and instead of fear, perhaps for the first time, considered a God who had authority over the storm, and authority over her life.
The beauty of service to our fellow man. Below you’ll find a series of photos capturing the effort of our doctors, nurses, dentist and evangelical team to make the most of the precious hours they are afforded in these villages will so little access to medical care, Christian fellowship and resources. Even more than the stars and sunsets, I am set speechless by the love of God displayed so mightily through these people of God.
Nurse Kris Jackson tending to a sick patient in her home.
Dr. Phil Kittelson meeting patients in the humid office while fighting off mosquitoes.
CCWM Missionaries Andrew Kittelson and Kristy Bebar
Dr. Abigail Hiller tending to a patient on board our boat.
Dr. Diego saw patients all day non stop in sweltering heat.
This beautiful Doctor and artist created dentures on board our boat! He is gifted by God!
CCWM Missions Development Director Jennie Thompson shows us her hidden talent! She cut hair all day for two days straight!
CCWM Vice President Henry Hagenbuch spent the hot days cleaning precious equipment to make sure everything was safe and sanitary.
CCWM Missionary Andrew Kittelson translated for STM Volunteer and Nurse Jean Young to care for patients on board the boat.
Missionary and Pastor Walter visits these villages monthly all by himself. Providing Church leadership to many of the hard to reach places.
Missionary Eswaldo lived in San Pablo for thirteen years, planting the first church there.
CCWM STM Volunteer and Nurse Abigail Spendlove makes a medical home visit.
CCWM Missionary Dr. Phil Kittelson, battling the rain and the mosquitoes to haul medical equipment to a hard to reach village.
The beauty of the Church.
As CCWM Missionary Felipe Kitteslon has often repeated on this mission journey, the Church can be found anywhere. It is beyond a building, language, denomination, culture and name. The Church is the collective body of Jesus Christ found all around this globe, even in the most unsuspecting places as the Mamore river villages. Words cannot express the feeling of meeting with my brothers and sisters in Christ, the Church, in the midst of a jungle. There they gathered to worship and pray with us. We don’t speak the same language but it is evident in our spirit we worship the same God and we are on the same journey in that respect. Behold, my siblings in Christ. How awesome to meet them, to be greeted and embraced by them.
And our visit was so short it felt as if I were leaving family I had only just met. As our boat motor fired up and we began to push away from the river bank they lined the grassy berm waving at us with smiles shouting,
“Come back soon! Please! We want to worship with you again. Please bring more Christians!”
In yet another village the one small church had just been kicked out of their church building that very day. The village chief does not approve of Christianity. He ordered they no longer had the right to use the building for Christian gatherings. Within hours, they had gathered in a small house where we sat and ate fried bread and drank water. The feeling was somber. Yet soon the tired silence was broken with an invitation to sing. And here, with the Church, with MY Church because we are all one, we worshiped together despite the true persecution they now faced. They borrowed a neighbors guitar and sang their hearts out under the beauty of the stars.
May you see in these photographs the love, commitment, time and energy it takes to provide for the needs of those who are living in areas as remote as the these villages on the Mamore. All in the photo’s would say, “Oh but it is the Lord!”
And yes, I do agree it is the Lord, but it also takes a great step of faith for His people to live out what He mandates.
Especially here in this difficult climate.
The Mosquitos alone could cause one to retreat.
I so readily judged Peter for his lack of commitment in the face of persecution.
Yet I myself was reduced to tears and wished to leave the opportunity to take God’s love to the hard to reach people. Not over persecution by man, but persecution by mosquito.
I will be kinder in my thoughts about Peter now.
I will conclude my first report from the Mamore River with this: It is hard to be here. To say otherwise would be to lie and of course, I cannot do so.
And yet, it is the privilege of my lifetime.
I am on day seven and will leave the Mamore in five days. But the Church will remain here, as well as areas where there is no viable Church.
It is the prayer and plan of our Bolivia Missionary Team to begin to train the young men and women of these villages to take the Gospel themselves to these places that so few missionaries wish to stay in.
As I think forward to mission mobilization I have a new perspective. To call people to the unreached, unengaged and hard to reach places left in this world in order to take the Gospel message to them, is to mobilize for death.
Death of the flesh, the selfishness and the worship of one’s own desires and own way.
Death of the comforts in life which matter so little in eternal perspective.
Death to all things unworthy of Christ.
And sometimes death itself.
To follow Jesus is to take up your cross. He made this very clear.
“Then Jesus told his disciples, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it. For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul? Or what shall a man give in return for his soul? ”
“The only good missionary is a dead missionary. Dead to self. ”
If you would like to donate to continue these medical mission’s or to provide for a Christian along the Mamore River to receive theological training, we can’t thank you enough. Please pray and consider it! The cost to train one Christian is $400 USD. The average cost of a medical mission is $11,000 and can reach up to eight villages.
