Those Someones

That’s hard. I think out loud. Viewing the goodbye hugs from the other side of the window.

For every goer, there are a team of senders. 

Today, I was observing the family of a goer and watching them send.

I perceived the struggle within the senders, and how they tamed the tension into quiet submission. They were letting their mamas, wives, best friends go to places in the world that were far away. The embraces ended and soon the doors to the van closed with final farewells and faint laughter, I heard through the barrier I stood behind. Off they drove to short term mission in Kenya and Rwanda Africa, leaving the senders walking silently to their cars, alone. 

I felt that. 

I was once the missionary going, and I remember the senders that I called mom, dad, sister and friend. I recall their final wave as I stepped through security, and the brave smile willing me forward.  Dad would later tell me that mom cried all the way home and for days after. 

It was hard to let go and trust God with the goer. 

I feel it now too.

Here in the home office, sending our missionary Dorie Nilles’ team off to Africa, I’m left with that sad weighty feeling that comes with saying goodbye, when you’re the one remaining. 

Lord, what will you do with these beautiful people? And the lesser said, what will I miss out on? 

Senders, the dynamic of missions that is less glorified, almost expected, and pretty un-noteworthy. Yet without the sender is there even a go? 

This month I geeked out on analytics and sat a bit shocked in my director’s seat as I realized that many of our missionaries are running on such an extreme deficit they are only on the field due to miraculous divine funding intervention. Many of them lack the monthly gift support they need. Instead they are left to trust, hope, believe that yes, indeed, God will supply. And He does.

I discovered that our missionary who is located in the most dangerous area, so risky that we have to call her “undisclosed missionary in an undisclosed restricted nation,” only had five monthly supporters. 

Her sending team is made up of two Americans, one Panamanian, one Caribean and one Bolivian.  I sat at my computer looking at their donations and nicknamed them the Fab Five. I committed to make sure they knew what a tremendous work they are a part of and that without them, “undisclosed missionary” would have to go home. 

The total amount the Fab Five are giving monthly happens to only be a third of what Undisclosed needs to continue to go. Yet somehow, in God’s economy, she is still on mission.

Just last month a donor came to our home office with a check for $1000 stating, “Please use this where most needed.”

I almost cried, but held back to spare a look of desperation, knowing that I had just sent an email to one of or missionaries giving them the bad news that we would not be able to send their salary next month, because their funds were so low. These missionaries struggle with fundraising because it is illegal for them to share the Gospel in the country they reside.  They strive to leave no media footprint which makes asking and telling a fairly difficult task. More than once they have said, “We believe God will provide.” 

Yes, I do too…but…

And then, the Sender shows up.

Later, that same day, my own home church treasurer sent a text asking, “Please let us know what missionary to direct our quarterly missions giving towards at CCWM.” All of this, causing me to rethink my toppling task list, and instead throw my hands up in the air and thank God for doing it again. 

Someone had to give their dollars in the offering plate to make that happen.

Someone had to say no to something fun, something good, something entertaining, to say yes to sending.

That was hard.

I think about the husband I saw walking to his car this morning. The worry he will have to press down in order to gain a full nights rest, the active pursuit of placing the woman he loves in God’s hands as she travels borders without him. 

That will be hard. 

I think of my own mom eventually drying her tears to get up and get on with it. Sending me weekly emails, liking all my posts and pictures, sharing my newsletters, appearing to me as if all she ever felt was excitement, pride and joy in my going. 

That was hard. 

I think of “Undisclosed Missionary’s” Fab Five getting ready to click the button that says GIVE on her missionary page when the prompt pops up asking,  “Would you like to make this a monthly donation?” How annoying is that button? As one person stated, “It makes me feel guilty for giving just a one time gift! ” 

For the five that clicked yes, thank you.

That was hard.

A church is now planted in a refugee camp where there was no other. You were a part of the first, yet you likely believe your $25 a month is not that special, oh my…it is indeed that special.

Going, well, we know how hard that is.

But sending is hard too. 

Obedience is hard. 

Yet somewhere, someone, is doing the hard thing, and there are a lot of those “someones” sending.

God sure is using those someones, because of them, missions keeps going.

Thank you!